Saturday

26 June 2010

9:52 AM

Dear Diary,

It's like I continuously move from one place to the next, only to be once again disappointed. Somehow deep down inside my heart, I knew from the start that I would not be able to live with my mother. Over the past 10 years so much has changed about her, or perhaps I just never really knew the side of her that I know now. I was only 8 years old when she left, so I probably only met the caring and loving side of her. So out of maturity and common sense I have made the decision that after High School, I would not move from the state that I am currently living in, to move into her apartment in another state. At this time, I am visiting my mother in her 2-bedroom apartment in which she shares with a boyfriend/"husband" of 6 years and her 2 sons. Right now her boyfriend pays the rent, and she is a stay at home mother of two, currently attending an online college.

EDIT

My mother borrowed $100 of my graduation money, and I'm worried that she will not repay me. She seems to be unable to afford the price of living in the city, and yet because of her stubborn mentality, she refuses to make an effort to move away. Yet, she complains to me that she's tired of her boyfriend and wants to move into an apartment on her own. I refuse to believe anything she tells me now, because soon afterwards she tells me that they are (both) moving out of this apartment together. I think that my mother should take her own advice and grow up. She needs to realize that she cannot live this unmarried life and be successful. I think when people do not marry the trust factor in a relationship is not present. Therefore, she constantly suspicious of him even when he does not do anything suspicious. Also, she does not know how to drive because she claims she has a phobia of driving altogether.

I conclude to say that she is so used to being dependent on others in order to help her in every situation in which she may need something, and she lacks the motivation to move on with her life.