hello peeps...man one of the few weekends that i;m free to go to a sleepover and i cant effin go....sheesh i need to check other people befor i go opening my scheduel up...its sad how much parents have control ov our lives and what we do in it...*sigh*...well whatever i decided to start a poetic thingi on xanga on account that sid and ella are there and i'v been trying to get them to talk on my site but it just hasnt exactly been working out...lol...oh well...whatever....*sigh* really depressed its gettin darker outside and for those of you who dont kno me all that well..my dad and i have this weird disease that when it gets really dark and the sun dissapears in the winter we get really depressesd and its not one of those emo things all the time its just like in the winter and shit. so needless to say i'v been getting more tired and stuff...most people think its odd or funny when ispeak of being angry or sad on account of them never seing me that way lol... lucky you...ya....right...ummmmmmmm....sie and tweek and every one i miss you all sooo much and i would almost do anything at this point to get back to steller....god i miss the place so much lol...people just dont understand ME at service lol....no really...you all kno i'm a freak i just sometimes wish i could go somewhere and be myself and not be thought of as a total freak.....steller is that place..it always has been *sigh*....srry i'm typing this at like 6-30 in the morn so...i'm kinda tired lol................i love you all and miss you all soooo much....i'm almost worried that i'm going to start cutting myself aggain.....not that i want too mind you but whatever i'm not going to think about it...my Xanga site is carol_the_drmr_grl and max needs to update...so do it lol...byebye