i shouldnt care at all right?

we were just friends and that was it.

so why am i sad that hes moving? just getting up and leaving.

he can do whatever he wants, im happy that hes getting out of maine.

i dont know.

i felt like we were more than friends,

he felt like a boyfriend to me. some how. some way.

the "i miss you." "i want you." "i wish i could lye in bed with you." "i want to cuddle with you."

all those cute little things just kinda made me like him, which i knew werent supposed to happen.

he thought i was cute, pretty, gorgeous, and even sexy. sexy!? me sexy? what? that was possible.

he was the first to go down on me.

i just cant wait to have sex with him. i want him so bad.

i know, the solution would probably be not to have sex because itll hurt more.

but i just want him so much, its lust.

i have till the end of this month. i cant wait to see him again.

its still insane to me how we met and how i stalked him.

oh well, i just i know i will miss him.

i like hanging out with him. he makes me happy. he makes me laugh. he makes me feel special. he knows how to make a girl feel that way. knows how to touch you just right that you feel safe in his arms and you just never want to let go.

i cant wait for our next hangout time. alone.

i think i did gain feelings towards him, its just lust. i just want him. he wants me also.

i dont think i should be sad. ill visit him when i get my license. he will visit when he ever comes back to maine.

ill move on. find another guy. hopefully a relationship.

i have to stop being so down and be happy for whats becoming.

just i want him so bad right now, in my bed.