I'm bitter, I'm discouraged, I'm empty, I'm bored, I'm lonely, I'm sad, I'm depressive, I'm confused, I am happy. I am in a pretty good place right now. Already the end of February, time is flying. So much for accomplishing great things in the new year. I suppose there's still plenty of time for that though. It's become quite apparent that I have some of the greatest people in the entire world as my friends, and also some of the absolute worst. Fortunately, most nights they equal out or the good outweigh the bad. I'm sortof stuck right now in the place where mood swings take over and my emotions range from extremely happy to extremely depressive within a matter of minutes, but oddly enough, I'm not complaining. I'd much rather be stuck in this state then one of pure depression. Friday night I had one of the best times I've had in a while, and Saturday was alright. Hanging with my amazing people every weekend is what keeps me going, there's no doubt. That and the substance abuse I suppose. It'd be great if there wasn't so much pressure to be... what everyone else wants me to be. I just wish I wasn't so confused about my feelings toward certain individuals. While I'm certain I do not want to be in a relationship [especially with the person I'm thinking of] he's making it extremely hard for me not to fall. I can see the destruction of an amazing freindship just around the corner, but I'm going to avoid it at all costs. I'm still stuck in my first love, one that will never be rekindled and never exist for him again, and I hope it stays this way. As long as I love him more than I love any new guy, I am safe. I can deal with his heartbreak. ♥