I watched Garden State today because it is my favorite movie and I got it for Christmas. There is this part in the movie where Andrew talks to Sam about the idea of home: "You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone... You'll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for you kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place." I think that's how I've been feeling lately. I've come to realize how the people who I have looked up to all of my life (namely my parents) aren't the bastions of perfection like I always percieved them to be. It's hard for me to accept the fact that the two people who I have always looked up to make as many mistakes as I do. It's even harder for me to see the affects of time on their eyes- the vivacity in their eyes have dulled with the saturation of experience and age. I love my parents dearly, I'm just starting to realize that my idea of "home" is starting to melt away into something insubstantial. That this building I come to every day and every night, is not always going to be here. I think that's why the idea of home should reside within the people and not the building. People move just as much as buildings do- but people have love. I just don't know where to call home anymore. I will miss it dearly, but I feel very alone without the notion of a place to call "home". I am sitting in my living room right now, but the problem is- is that my living room is just that. I feel very alone with the idea that the people whom I love and respect falter and fail every much as myself. The only thing that is sure in life is love and hope: the two things that will comfort us as we plunge into the darkness and unknown.