I just wish it were easy. Recently, I thought it was- but I have just made a full cycle back to where I started. Recently, I thought maybe I would get out of this cylce- that I could see the countryside and not the city. I thought maybe for once I was falling up instead of down. Maybe I think too much. All I know is that it was close, and I have just made the trip backwards. I just can't keep feeling like this, it's slowly killing me. I just always ask and never answer. I have all of the questions, I just need someone to answer them. That when the stars explode and light the path, I'll understand everything and be okay. That for once, I'll be happy. That I'll be happy for what has happened and what will happen. But I don't know. Maybe I'm just overanalyzing everything right now- I've been doing a lot of that lately. I just don't know what to believe in anymore: the head or the heart. I don't think either is correct. And it is with a very deep and heavy sigh, I end this entry.