I feel as if with every step I make, my feet grow into the floor. That every step becomes harder to make, until at which point I can't move them anymore. Maybe I'm just reading too much into everything that is happening. I don't even know why I should care so much considering how I think I feel about it. Which then tells me that I obviously feel differently if what I think I feel is different from what I really feel. I've been trying to be more optimistic- Lord knows I have been. I'm so sick and tired of complaining about the world when in actuality, it's me who creates my own proiblems. I've grown so tired of pessimism lately that I've even called my mom on it whenever she starts complaining about any given situation- and lecture her about why it's better to be optimistic than not. She usually responds angrily (I can imagine why), but she knows that I'm right (I can tell and she's told me on a few occasions). Only if I could practice what I preach. Sometimes I feel that the best advice is the advice we give other people. Not only that, but usually whatever advice we give people can strangely be applied to our ownselves as well. I'm really hoping that this is just another time where I'm once again overanalyzing and jumping to conclusions. It seems like it, but it also seems like a poor defense to have against uncertainty- filing everything under a result of overanalyzation when I can only guess at what is going on. Usually when I get really upset, depressed, overanalytical, angry, stressed- I go into my room and play "Needle in the Hay" on my acoustic until everything leaves me; until all of my thoughts are gone; until every single droplet of emotion leaves my body and I am one with the guitar strings- each note becoming a new piece of my body. But I don't have the energy to do that today.