Listening to: Benjamin Gibbard- Recycled Air
Feeling: better
I have this mental problem. I classify it as a "problem" for lack of clear definition as to what it really is and that word seems to describe it well enough. At any rate, I'm well aware that I overanalyze situations and overthink things to an immense degree. Because of this, my mood is easily affected by the tiniest (and most often, trivial) of things. It's not so much as what happens that affects my mood, but what my mind derives from the action. Say for instance something small were to happen. I will more often than not, think and anaylze about that small thing until I bleed the thought dry. Subsequently, it's not the action that happens that affects my mood, but what I derive from all of my analyzation and thinking that does. What I usually derive to, I start to believe in as true. There have been numerous amounts of times where I have gotten in small arguments with my friends and I have consequently thought about what was said, how I felt about it and wonder how they feel. I begin to think if we're still friends, and believe that our relationship is ruined and travel down that path mentally. My thoughts start from small to big- from trivial to troubling. That small argument that I once had, I now believe as the end of a friendship- until I wake up the next morning with a clear mind and assure myself that nothing that bad happened.
At any rate, this is becoming more and more of a problem. Some small things have happened lately, and as described above, I have introspectvely blown the probelm to a gigantic proportion (the results can be seen in previous entries from this weekend).
It's really nobody's fault but mine, and this is something I'll have to deal with until I learn how to defeat it. Until then, I always have my music library to organize. Which by the way, is very organized currently.
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