*sigh* It's never good when you start an entry with a sigh.... I feel very down, dunno why though.... For some reason, I don't want march break to come... i don't want school to end.... maybe I've come to realize that in a few months, my 11 years at selwyn will be over, and I'll be moving on. It's a little unnerving that the place that i've spent a little under 3/4 of my life at and that i always thought i'd be there for eternity would be behind me soon. Makes me depressed and not want time to progress. Maybe I just realized that I spent the 3 years of my high school life not doing much interesting and worth remembering. That I'll miss the good times like playing soccer in the gym today and breaking up a huge sweat while having massive fun, or building up bonds with friends at trips, competing at sports... It makes me not want to leave even more because I just found out how taking initiative can help so much... only finding out halfway through the year that I could learn the things I'm interested in by being proactive. Makes me want to continue another year at selwyn just to continue laerning those things.... japanese with woodruff-sensei, eletronics with the sci dept.... something just makes me think that life will be a lot less enjoyable after selwyn... Everyone probably wonders this, but how will life for me go after selwyn? How will CEGEP be for me? Will my introvertedness lead to me loneliness once again? *sigh* only time will tell.... I'm one of those people who have no experience meeting other people (also having trouble conversing).... I have one friend outside of selwyn, and I haven't had to make new friends for a long time. gyah.... I'll prolly meet new ones anyways, hang out with a few of the old ones, so why worry? I don't know.... sore wa automatic desu..... ah... on the happy side, my parents are talking abuot going somewhere during the summer break. haven't gone on a vacation for years... I'll be happy to go on one! And they're talking about going to Japan too! I've been wanting to go there for a while now, all cause of my interest in manga/anime/jmusic. I've taken so much interest in learning about their culture and language. Call me a traitor or whatever, I still want to learn and live there someday. Funny how much you can rant, and even though nothing comes from it, it feels good somehow.... I got no one to talk to, well, maybe I do, but I just don't have the courage to talk to anyone about it. So I guess this is one of my only ways to vent my thoughts and feelings. *sigh* It's so much easier to talk about this when you're only talking with recycled electrons, and not directly to someone else... I'd love to have such a confident one of these days... Random thought: sometimes I think I'd be happier being a girl than a guy -_-;;