moms back. i guess she liked the doctor.. which is good. hes not happy with the way the previous doctors have been handling all her stuff. which i cant blame him for. they think that her tumor is up past where they cant see on the mri's but they cant see because of her plates. i dont know how they think they are going to get pictures of it.. the plates distorte everything. shes obsessed with how much hair shes pulling out of her brush when she gets out of the shower. you cant tell really when you look at her.. but it is thinning out a lot. i dont have the heart to tell her. it seems lately ive had a hard time saying anything right. or worng.. or at all.. third quarter ended last week and i got my grades and they arent so good. i cant consintrate on anything. even my spelling has gone to shit. i seriously dont know how to handle anyhting thats going on. im about ready to fall back into old habits just to make everything go away. but i know that if i do that then most would say im only doing it to get attention. if they only knew the truth.. i cant believe im even saying this shit. i know how pathetic i sound. i want to escape. i need to. all this shit is gettin to me.