SO its been a while since ive been on here. I think there needs to be some updates. 1)My moms chemo didnt work. so they are trying her on a new stronger harsher chemo. so far shes only had two treatments. but the migrains that shes getting are worse than shes ever had in her life. Her hair fell out completely. she tried to wear wigs but that just never set right with her. she stopped her original chemo and it grew back fast. we're waiting to see if the new chemo takes her hair away again. 2)I completed my only goal that i had in my life. I graduated high school. i never thought that i would make it and i did it with more credits than i needed and thats saying something about how smart i am since for the longest time i never tried to be smart. 3) Nate finally came home to me in April. We've been living together for 6 months now. And we still dont hate each other or anything like that. my mom however decided a couple of months ago that she didnt like us being togther and gave me an ultimadum. it was either her or move out. 4) nate and i have been living together on our own for the last two and a half months. hes working and doing well and i am working and going to college. of course we fight and we get really mad at one another but at the end of it all we love each other more than ever. 5) the only bad thing thats happend so far is i thought for a couple of weeks that i might be pregnant. my moms best friend asked me before i even said anything if i had thought about taking a pregancy test. i took 3 including a blood test done by my doctor. i had every symptom except the missed periods. every test i took told me i wasnt pregnant. but i still felt that i was. one day nate and i were messing around on my bed and i felt that something wasnt right... so i went to the bathroom. i was having a miscarrage. i couldnt stop crying. i wanted more than anything to be pregnant and be a mother. and that chance was stolen from me. being a mother has always been a dream of mine. i try to act like it doesnt bother me that much but it does. there hasnt been a night since that i havent cried myself to sleep. its hard to act like it doesnt matter for nates sake. when it does matter. so this is my life so far.. not better not worse... just different.