I feel like I know nothing right now..empty mind..empty soul..empty heart..and that´s all. New Year´s celebration was not that cool, I felt really lonely. I couldn´t get drunk because I´m into medication! That totally sucked! We were at a friend´s house..we were just like ten or something, and I felt ilke it was just my and myself..we didn´t sleep a minute. And there he was, laying beside me on the grass, staring at the sky while the sun came out, with a dimmer light; we could be so close or so apart and it would´ve felt the same, I WAS ALONE...and I can´t stop the feeling of this lonely heart, I just can´t!! I think I am kind of even likeing the way it feels to talk to myself, cause I am kind of getting used to it.. If anyone could just make me feel better..I think my heart would really appreciate it.. My mind was spinning around, I really have the memory of that night..or I was it was early in the morning. The grass was pretty cold, although the morning breeze was not that cool. I kept thinking on what is going on inside me, as I smoked like 5 ciggarettes....I hope things get better..I still hope, which means I still have it!