so i know that it's upsetting that i am doing this to you, but i cant just jump into things and not be afraid of whats going to happen. i do it everytime because it's me! i cant change how i feel and how i think. i need to just focus on me and just me. i have things to do and things i have to work through in my personal life. so i just have to say that if you like me as much as you say you do then you would understand this and would let me do what i have to do.