so i was reading ALL of my old entries today, and i am really sad and lonely. i have realized how in love i have been in my life, but i have always threw it all away. i dont know why i do it. you would think that since i was in love things would seem right, but nope! NOT FOR ME! I'M IGNORANT! *sigh* i miss love, i miss loving someone and i miss being loved back! i dont know what's wrong with me! i hate who i've become, and i wish i could foolishly fall in love again! i've decided whats going on...whats funny is that it took a book to realize this! lol! i need a guy to tell me to shut up and that they love me, then they hold me close...lol thats what i need. i need someone strong to not let me do me freaking out and breaking up...and if i do i want them to tell me no and that they love me and wont let me go...maybe that would actually show me hos much...but thats not going to happen! lol! i am so boring now! i cnat do anythig right!