The beginning of this song is so calming. I love it. The piano is amazing. I need to take up piano. I suddenly feel weird. Like I'm making a mistake, like I'm hurting someone. I honestly don't want to do that. I have this feeling in my chest and stomach, and it's not pleasing. I want to know if what I'm striving for is okay, if who I'm going after is going to let me. If I'm making sense. Ah, I don't know right now. I hate being away from school. I start thinking weirdly. But when I'm at school, I forget everything and let what needs to happen, happen. I think I need help. Ah, it's thanksgiving. I'm going to have turkey for the first time in my life. I'm lame, I know. 15 years without turkey? I don't know. Is it good? I'm going to help my mom roast the turkey once she comes home. I need to clean my room before she comes too. She's been nagging at me to clean it for weeks. I'm just a procrastinator. Not really a good thing. I'm starting to read Wuthering Heights. I didn't finish Thirteen Reasons Why yet. I never get time to read. I hate it that I don't. I'll find time, but Wuthering Heights is actually for my English class. We finished Macbeth and took the test, and I think I did pretty well on it. I'm trying really hard this quarter. I had a really weird dream last night. A dream where my youngest brother was being thrown off a 10 story balcony. It was being replayed or something and every time he was thrown off I would try saving him and get his hand, but his hand would slip and he'd fall and I just couldn't believe what kind of a dream I was dreaming. I wanted to stop whatever was happening, but it wouldn't stop. I finally just sat up in my bed and tried thinking of something else, and this was around 5:30 I think. I then get a call from one of my friends and she was all happy and she stayed up all night. I didn't actually mind her calling me so early. I don't mind if anyone calls me at like 2 am or what ever odd time someone calls me. It makes me feel like I'm proving myself and whoever that calls that I'm there for them. It feels good? I don't know. It's me. I'm going to finish cleaning my room and the other rooms. Hopefully I finish before my mom comes home. That's probably not going to happen. I'll update again later.