i get so lost in other people's words. i'm a sucker. dasminehwdenotsgnitteguoyerayhw?? grrrrrr. i dont know what i want. anymore. fuck. motherrr fuckkerr. i got my braces off!!

things have been real good lately. i've been spenging a lot of time with blake, a lot of time at the gym, and a lot of time doing school work. its all pretty good. on monday i went to eagle's landing to surprise Blake at lunch with a happy meal with a my little pony toy inside. [: he was quite surprised and excited. yesterday we went on a "double date" with brittany and dustin. hahah it was a great time. but now i have to leave to go to my dad's for a week. we are going to play golf, eat sushi, and rent a lot of movies. sounds like fun. i am going to miss a few people. but whatever.

This christmas was pretty good. i got some good things. a new beatles shirt was one. :) heather came over and we sang some Kareokee. we suck. period. i ate so freaking much today and now i think i have to throw up. blah. tommrow i have to go to my grandparent's house. not so fun. and monday i have to get on a plane at 7:10 am. joy. well i will be going to the most amazing place on the east coast. New york. fuck, i need to pack. i really do hope everyone had a good holiday. whatever holiday they are celebrating. i feel bad for being sad at times. i got a book for christmas called "be happy, damnit", lol my step dad got it for me. Well, i was reading it and i got mad at myself because i have been too busy being upset latley that i've forgotten who i really am. it sucks. i suck. so i'm changing. I'm not being fickle. i am being earnest with myself and everyone else. thank you ladies and gentlemen, Jess.

I am at school. it fucking sucks. excuse my language. no, don't excuse it. Brittney Travers is my hero. She makes my day and i got her a braclet for christmas. :) i'm not allowed to see Blake and i am grounded and i don't think blake really cares. i love him so much. even if he is an asshole and he knows it. i just don't give a shit anymore. i am not sore with anyone right now. and i am not sorry, for anything. this entry sucks. as usual.

Come on now, nothing ever happens around here. its always the same old same old boring events. Okay so not really, but kind of. Nothing is boring. But nothing is exiting. eh i was on the news the other day. my feet were. i have famous feet. isn't that nice? Some things make me so mad. like just the thought of some people, kills me. its horrible but not completely. Why do people try soo hard? is it that they are worried that they won't fit in? or is it that they worry that they will fit it? and why is it that certain people always attract others? and then people see someone for who they really are, they shy away from them, like they didn't suspect it all along. i am fucking sick of McDounough, mainly the people here. one good thing about dutchtown: there are very few scene kids. i love snapple. Snapple Apple is like the best flavour ever. i want to marry snapple. i want to marry Blake as well. and i will. maybe. hopefully. uh, yeah. i am going to see Blake in like 20 minutes. can't wait. Peace up, A-town down. Jessica Leigh

Blistered should be a Mood Choice. Cause I have so many freaking Blisters on my Feet. Its kinda crazy. Cause they just keep getting worse LoL Mmmm Hmmm Golf was a gOOd, gOOd time today. It was all cause of BoB and his Penis. lmao, VAGINA POWER!! "I know you wanna Hit that, I know you wanna hit that, Hit that..." LoL Yeah sO Ms.Morgan is a lesbian, No Doubt about that man. All the sings are there. I cant wait till Emily, Tiffany, and Me all go watch School Of Rock at Brandons house{note:Jack Black is Em's idol} Thats gonna be a BLAST....I Mean Can you say K A B O O M ?? [copyright->Lizzie] LMAO Oh yes. Well I will be leaving and Im taking My Vagina and all its power with me! --JeeeesKa

So yesterday I played a pretty good golf game LoL. So yeah SOmething I hate--When people Bitch and COmplain about how bad their life is. I mean its not fair to them Because all they do is WOrry about what they dont have. Uhhhh anyways... Yeah So Cole was like "HEy jessica" And i was like "Hey..i see your wearing a shirt, Im wearing a shirt too...Lets go make out now!" And he was like "Well Okay." LoL Fun Times. Man I want Those damn shoes really really bad. Im gonna get them. 'Fo 'Sho {Copyright->Emily} hah Holla Back.... Jay Eee Ess Ess [Jess] Woah thats rad!

Golf Tournament Tommrow WIsh Me lUcK!! {Wish Emily --Boysdontcry-- Some too} | Jess | Oh yeah: Tomboy What's your sexual appeal? brought to you by Quizilla

Well let me begin by saying that I love my little header Picture. Yes its Andrew from So Co...walking through the croud. More like walking on the croud. hahah I love it. So I am leaving the beach tommrow :( Mabye i will see Blake though. Ehhh I feel really weird. About lots of stuff. I guess we will see how the next few weeks play out. Hmmmm. Well I will be on my way. Byness (Copyright-Jessica lol) -Jess-

I guess this is right -------------------------------- J - jealOusy E - yOu are a very exciting persOn S - yOu are very brOad-minded S - yOu are very brOad-minded I - yOu are always smiling & making others smile C - yOu definitely have a partier side in yOu; dOn't be shy tO shOw it A - yOu can be very quiet when yOu have sOmething on yOur mind --------------------------- Well then, Have a Superb Day!! -Jess- I love that Album- which song of staywhatyouare are you? find out!

Well yeah i feel like a peice of shit that has been run over by a car and then licked by a dog! hah Uhhh well Physicaly... But emotionally... I FEEL GREAT!! lol last nite me an emily went to the Middle School Talent show for her little brother (franklin) it was AWESOME! Franklin is a great dancer....he did his own rendition of "Big Spender" he had a little suit on and a P-I-M-P hat too. He danced his ass off and he came in 2nd place. He is the coolest 6th grader i know!! Yeah and Blake wasnt there :( awe....but it was still pretty rad. And we watched road tripp...and ate mexican...and went to Em's dance class, and ate at Jonny's. Yeah it was good. Well hmmmm....i dunno but me and emily pan dookie had a really great time. Mabye I will write more later, Love yah Elisha! -Jessica-

stars are out tonight and you're the brightest one shining in my sky. it's like every wish I ever made came true. the day I woke up lying next to you. will you be my best friend if I offer you my heart? 'cause it's already yours. we could hang out every night and watch the sun go down. as long as we could watch it rise again. gave me a valentine. it's these little things that stand the test of time. I've saved the tickets from the shows that we've been to. and a thousand other memories of you. gave you this i.o.u. today. it said good for one galaxy. once I build my rocket to the stars. we'll fly away just you and me. Always Yours (eh mabye not lol), -Jessica- Pee Ess-> Yes...Its Zach up there!

No matter what happens- i'll make it. an if im not happy- i'll fake it! Oh yes...words of empowerment from Amanda's Xanga Diary (You rock) Sometimes you gotta stop and remember that your not gonna live forever. be young, think smart, stay true and just follow your heart. words of wisdon from None other than~ The Ataris. Okay well I got to finish my Shakesphere Homework. Honestly he was a great guy but I dont like haveing to work on him after school. Hahah woah. Bye all...I leave with *the love*~> -Strawberry Michelle Shortcake-

So this is a mix of parts of different Love songs that I love...ENJOY! *Oh well, You've got me under your spell. *The things you make me wanna do I'd rob a quik-e-mart for you I'd go to the pound and let all the cats go free,Just as long as you'd be with me. *falling for you was the easy thing to do. *stars are out tonight and you're the brightest one shining in my sky. it's like every wish I ever made came true. the day I woke up lying next to you. *The truth, is you could slit my throat, and with my one last gasping breah i'd apologize, for bleeding on your shirt. *One thing i Knows true, I'll never repalce you, a memory, I'll rewind and play. *My heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or burry, or wear as jwelery, which ever you prefer. *Tell me, that insucurities, are what lead me to you. *promise me that im good enough for someone. *Here I am sitting on the beach again Watching as the tide comes rolling in. I miss the times when I looked into your eyes A sacrifice I made for paradise. *will someone tell me what it takes to be happy? *If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? and would you miss me when you get there? *I wanna kiss you every minute every hour everyday. *I'm staring at your picture and dreaming that I could hold your hand. we'd walk down to the ocean and I would write your name in the sand. Rockin stuff man. Tiffany spent the nite last nite. After we went on our 'date'. It was AWESOME! We had dinner and a movie. Well breakfast, and a bunch of movies. ~Girl, Intrupted ~SLC punk ~Fast Times at Ridgemont high ~Wayne's World ~Wayne's World 2 OH YES!! Man I need to take a moment to say somethings that piss me off... 1) People who spend more time defending who they are than actually being who they are. 2) People who try to be all 'dark' and 'blacked out' when they dont even know what their doing. 3) People who constantly talk about cutting themselves. [JUST TO LET YOU KNOW: EVERY FUCKING PERSON DOES THAT AT SOME POINT IN TIME ALMOST SO STOP TALKING ABOUT IT LIKE IT MAKES YOU COOL, cause trust me, it doesnt.] any of those things piss you off too? -Much Love- ::Strawberry Michelle Shortcake:: Pee Ess~> The boys locker room always turned me on. lol

Today was pretty awesome. Me an Britteny went to see Along CAme Polly then went to the coolest music store EVER then went to Carabbas. Oh yeah brittney is awesome. Im glad we are starting to be good friends (tear) I cant belive Eric Partied with Fawker last nite. It was like a Jessica's Upession party... Fawker and eric...if kenny was there i would have died! HA actually if all 3 of them was there and I was there that would be a pretty sweet 4some. ;) lol Tommrow Im going over to Brittney's and we are all gonna watch 80s movies... Bill & Ted's Exlentt adventure Wayne's World Wayne's World 2 Sixteen Candles Say anything !!AND MORE!! WOah Its gonna ROCK. Almost as much as Eric Rocks. Man Im getting Upessive. This is not healthy lol Its not as bad as kenny but still. Three day weekends are so rad man. All weekends should be 3 days!! Or 4 or 5 Or everyday could be a weekend!!! hah yeah. i dunno that could be gay eventuly. hahah Im such a loser I love Elisha. She rocks. She is Pure rockness!! hah Byeness : + : * Jessica * : + : Jessica Steingraber spins tunes asDJ Dirty PimpsterGet your dj name @ Quiz Me

Okay so My entry i just wrote didnt work and that pisses me off... DONT tell my mommmy Im online. Im working on a 'Project' hah Well I had sooooo much fun at golf cause me an emily flirted with Kyle the whole time. Kyle rocks. Me an him an emily are gonna VACUME!! [I'll explain later] oh yeah. WEll if you read JJ's diary all the music he listens to is from the CD i made him. Cause that CD rocks his socks and shoes off! Alisha or elisha~> I LOVE YOU...i miss you oH sO muCh. Cant wait to surf with you its gonna be rad times 10! lol Well J.J. dont be jelous i still lov you. hah Your shirt today was so rad man. Well guess i better go work on my "project" lol. Byeness. Jessica. Oh yeah~> To all those who leave comments...I LOVE YOU WITH THE POWER OF TEN SUNRISES!!

So Today me and heather went to the waffle house then went to the mall for a wile. It was fun. Heather Bought the Dooney & Bourke Handbag shes wanted forever. Its really pretty but im not really a fancy purse person. i mean i'd probally loose it. If i ever make a lot of money i dont know what id do with it. I would buy stuff for my friends and family i guess. But i think i would spend it all on Vacations and stuff. I would go every where in the world almost hah. That would be awesome. I think i would spend my money on expirences and memories. No one can take that aways from you. They can steel or buy a purse, but once you have a thought or memory you have it forever. unless you get Alzhimers or somthing. My mom is being so freaking gay. well she was. I want to move with my dad more than anything. I hope he moves here. We got in a fight [me & my dad] cause i did not plan when i was gonna see him and crap. I felt so bad. i really let him down. And thats not good for him. He had to have more surgery last week and i dont even know what it was all about. hes not the kind of person who tells you stuff. Im like the only person he tells stuff too cause he dont like the people where he lives. I dont know. I think that i understand him but really i dont. Kinda like he thinks he understands me but really he doesnt. Then again mebye he DOES understand me and mabye i DO understan him. I used to really care about my mom and how she couldnt live if i didnt live here. But now that my stepdad retired its like she dont care. Since hes here its okay if im not. She hasnt even spent time with me alone it like a week. That sounds not a lot but, it is to me. I have been with heather so much latley. I dont know I wish more than anything that my dad could move here and i could live with him. And i could visit my mom every other weekend or more. My dad and i dont ALWAYS get along great only because he does not want me to make the same mistakes he made. But if i lived with him at least i could live with someone i actually like. I simply cannot go on living with my stepdad. I have always said ever since i was about 10 years old "nothing will ever change so why even complain about it" But now it seems that me getting older it actually could change. I dont know anything right now. And i really really dont want to think about the future right now. I need to focus on school, friends, and my family. But i never have been able to focus on the things i should focus on. I guess i will see how things will turn out when they do turn out. Until that day comes i can only think about the moment. ..........SURVEY........ >1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Jessica Leigh Steingraber >2.WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING? Black >3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?TSY >4. WHAT ARE THE LAST 4 DIGITS OF YOUR PHONE NUMBER? 0067 >5. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Bagle >6. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Puke Green (less people would use me) >7. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW? ummm its night >8. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? My dad >9. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? Hair, Eyes, Sense Of humor >10. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU THIS? no one sent it to me >11. HOW ARE YOU TODAY? okay >12. FAVORITE DRINK? Vodka & tonic...hah Sweet Tea or Pepsi >13. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? woah i so read the quiz's mind damn im good![see #12] >14. FAVORITE SPORT? Hockey >15. HAIR COLOR? brownish blonde >16. EYE COLOR? blueish green i dont know >17. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? yes >18. SIBLINGS AND THEIR AGES? none >19. FAVORITE FOOD? hmmm i dont even know >20. WHO WAS THE BEST KISSER YOU'VE EVER KISSED? Stevan or John >21. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? View From The Top >22. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? St.Patricks or My bday. >23. MOST EMBARRASSING THING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU? ran into everyone at the go cart place >24. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?not to shy i just never wanted to >25. DO YOU LIKE SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING MOVIES BETTER? both >26. SUMMER OR WINTER? summer >27. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs that come with Kisses >28. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE-NIGHT STANDS? depends >29. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? chocolate >30. DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO WRITE BACK? if they want >31. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? donno >32. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? donno >33. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS? what? >34. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? none rite now >35. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? like a water scene i dont know >36. FAVORITE BOARD GAME? Monoply or Strawberry Shortcake game >37. FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? ummm Shower, no mambye my breath, Naw i just think i wanna go back to sleep. >42. SCHWARZENEGGER AS GOVERNOR? i donno i dont live there >43. DREAM JOB? Actress/Comedian --jessica--

i have not written in DAYS. heh School is...eh...alright. its not like i expeceted anything more, well maybe i did. But i was hoping i wouldnt. Everything around here is just the same old same old. alright so nothing is the same. and nothing is old. last night me, hilary, John and ryan went to see The Village and i had some of the best times i have had in quite a while. you need to check out the new pictures at http://profiles.myspace.com/users/4312759 yeah they are hott. as are my pink fishnets, hott hott hott. eh? So yeah i am taking french this year, so maybe, one day, i can write an entry in french. that would just be too rad. too rad for comfort. :) hah nice one. this diarie sucks. hahah Peace out Gangsters. Jeska. [that is how brandon chooses to spell it]

The book i am reading is really good. i read it at the pool today. i am soo tan, its verry good. My risk of skin cancer increases everyday. hmmm. Fireworks on the 4th were amazing. i was quite content sitting there in my awesome white skirt and my TSL shirt. The Beatles make me so so happy. :) Eating Ramen noodles with my fingers is great funn. Argh..."Ex-Girlfriend" is on here now. i dig the song but its not my favorite. Was Franz Ferdinand better? Or should i put the Beach Boys on here? They don't have any Beatles songs though :( i recieved 40 freaking comments on my previous entry...thats crazy. Have a Beautiful Day. Jessica Leigh.

Ben Jelen is a god!! I saw Big Fish for the first time tonight. it was so so good. i cried. it made me think about life, Love[Blake], My dad, and fishing, and rad Cars, and white picket fenses! :) I miss Blake sooo much. I am going to call him at five in the morning. Cause i am just THAT COOL. I ate Sushi today!! I looove my Sushi. it makes me happy. Everyone who leaves me comments-- I LOVE YOU! Jessica Leigh Pee Ess-- i am tan bitches!