I think im going to break up with john... You see latley its been weird. He hasnt been calling as often and when he does he's like "lemme call you back", and he never does. And the Thing is...i really dont care if he calls or not. Ive been getting Flirty with other guys ive been picking guys i could go out with. All that crap. But John is so great. Hes like THE best guy ive ever had. seriously. And i really, really dont want to hurt him. I dont know. In some ways i think he feels the same way. But then again i dont know if I've fully decided that i wanna break up with him. I dont know. I just want this time to be different then before. no matter what we have to be friends...mabye even friends with benefits. The main thing is: Im scared. Im scared to break up with him and i fucking hate that!! John as been a really big thing in my life. Whoa. People keep telling me they have heard shit from either John or someone else. Saying hes using me...he may be using me but he really hasnt gotten any yet so yeah hah. Thats john's problem....he can't say no. I mean i really dout he will break up with me (*knock on wood* lol). im confused Well if you think i should do anything different please tell me. Please. Cause i dont know what the hell to do. Fare Well-- Jessica