I was talking to my friend and he was telling me about how much he hates his life and how last year everything was so great and he laughed so much with me last year but now its all different. He said that things arnt the same. And hes rite they arnt, and they never will be. But the thing is I am happier now then i was then. Im happier now then i have been in a long time. And im not afraid to say it....My life is actually okay rite now. I dont think anyone will ever understand how i was. I would never show it. Thats just how i am. If you hurt me, you wont know it, ill act like its all okay. I tried to kill myself 3 times last year. for real, not just to say i did, ive never even told anyone I did before. Thats just not cool. and its so weird to think of myself as 'happy' i mean im not only happy towards people....im happy inside too at least i think i am- thats waht matters. I mean why NOT be happy...read this: If you think life is bad now, how would you like to be an egg? You only get laid once. You get eaten once. It takes four minutes to get hard, only two minutes to get soft. You share your box with 11 other guys, but worst of all, the only chick that ever sat on your face was your mom! So cheer up, your life isn't that bad!<<<< Very much true yo! And the other thing is we live in fuckin america. And most of us arnt fighting in war rite now so yeah. I dont know im happy now, mabye not yesterday, mabye not tommrow, but i am now, And thats what counts! Have A day! --jessica-- ((I LOV JOHN!!))