I dyed my hair.. and I love it. I've been really confused lately... Confused about what I want... Why I want the things I do... How I'm feeling... This whole month has been really emotinal for me. The first week of school I cried everyday. The second week I cried because my schedule couldn't be changed. The week of my birthday I cried often because of how I felt ... not so special. I bawled on the day of my birthday. This last week has been slowing down. I get the need to cry but I've been able to calm down. The people who know me, know that this is not normal. I havn't ever cried as much as I did this month. I don't cry. I don't usually wish that I could change the past.. but this month.. i have been all out of wack. I can't help the way I feel. But I don't know how to explain what I feel I need to say. My sister is going through the same thing... Non stop crying. She NEVER cries either. I think the dam in which holds my heart broke... or at least cracked and the water pressure, which I have held in for so long, got to be too strong and the dam broke. How did my dam brake? I think I know. You see.. not many tourist get to see my dam because it is fragile and I like to keep it protected, but one tourist came and opened the security door, realized that dams are boring and left. With the security door open the dam went into shock and broke spilling out everywhere. It took a month to dry out. But what is left is completely new. Ruined what used to be there... but something beautiful can come out of it. Now I can try to feel how I want to... How... I should. It's just going to take a little time to rebuild a sturdy, healthy foundation. ~Jesscia*~