You know... the easiest time to talk to you is when you're sleeping. (I write as if I'm talking to him... yeah.. deal with it.) We had a big fight last night. I couldn't get one word in. I was wrong. He IS right... (Okay...Sarcasim, ladies and gentelman..) It's not fair if I can't get my views across. I don't even care about being right or wrong. That is not the issue. The issue is that our communication sucks. Our issue is that we forget about each other when we are mad and we go for the throats. We fight to hurt. I know that's not how it should be done. It was like that with Bronson.. we fought.. I felt cheated..(and was).. and I was always wrong. When you are constantly put down.. it really has a "wear and tear" feeling. I am so tired today. I didn't drink last night, granted I didn't sleep well because I was so upset, but I'm not tired from lack of sleep. I feel like I am the post that you beat into the grass with that damn hard hammer, and you've finally put me in my place. It hurt, and now I'm just tired. I'm not all that great with words (emotionally speaking).. and I'm worse when you're angry. So when you sleep.. when you are most relaxed (and snoring) I talk to you. I let you know how I feel.. how I felt when you said something that hurt... how much better it would be if you could compromise with me... How I feel like the effort department is headed by one person (me)... And when I say these things.. you don't get upset at the second word, you hear me out. And if I feel like I said something wrong I'll rephrase it, a free re-do if you will, without you stomping out of the room before I get a chance. In soap operas, when someone is in a coma people talk to them, and they believe they hear them. I want to believe you hear me. I want to believe that subconsciously you will understand. I want to be able to talk to you like that when you're awake. Ah.. The ever present I Want I Want I Want's. How selfish of me.