When you have gone through something that scares you, something that makes you realize that life really is precious and rare, and something where so much could have gone wrong, you start to think. I got in a car accident. It was the scariest thing in my life. I honestly could have been seriously hurt if I wasn't wearing my seat belt. My car had to be towed away on the spot. It was so messed up I couldn't drive it. I couldn't even get out of my door because my front was crunched up so bad. I had to kick it to get out. The usual things followed. Shock. Embarrasment. Shaking uncontrolably. Crying. But all that you can get over. What you can't get over though is how things work afterwards. Who calls you to see if your okay. Who cares enough to see you and make sure you're okay. Just who cares. I found out a lot this weekend. I can honestly say if one of my friends got in a car crash, however minor it was, I would go see if they were okay. I would call them and make sure they were okay. I might even make them a cake or bring them Starbucks just so they would smile and really be okay. But no matter how much you might care for your friends, they may not really care that much for you, at least it may not seem like they do. It is a really sad feeling, and every time you talk to them it gets awkward because they are all hanging out and you aren't because you just recently crashed your car and don't have transportation. Maybe they don't realize that they are hurting your feelings. Maybe they just can't see it. But the fact is that they are and they don't know it because they havn't even talked to you yet. And it hurts even more when friends leave messages on your cell phone saying that they are telling their parents that they care about you and are going to visit you and make sure you are alright but in reality they are going to go see their boyfriends. So if their parents call.. cover for them. I feel extreamly confused and scared. Because I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. All I can do is write this get it off my chest, hopefully I will feel a little better. But I doubt it. ~Jessica*~ p.s. This may be a low.. but I can still smile.