well i just got horrible news my sister might have cancer... they think she has overian cancer .. they aren't 100% with out testing... so i was really upset yesterday... and then anthony helped calm me down.. for a little... but i think i'm threw with that chapter.. cause when i needed him the most he's never there .. i know he has a girlfriend but they havn't dated that long .. so .. i just figured i would be more important.. but this reminds me of a song unanswer prayers.. thanking god for those unanswer prayers.. but then i think more and more that if he wanted me and loved me as much as i loved him i wouldn't have to fight this hard... so i decided to give this new boy a chance his name is JD and he's sweet.. so i'm just taking one day at a time