ok so .... i am actually driving myself nuts its funny crazy and i hate it .. all i can dream or think or want is this on kid ... i have pretty much came to the conclusion i'll never have.. and then i have the balls to call him and i hear what i always wanna here and it fucks with me HARD CORE... like he said one day he will marry me and OMG ... i just dont know I'm going fucking crazy ... cause i have a boyfriend ... who lets be real isn't ever gonna go ne where .... i love that kid i really do but we are both going navy and i am going to cali and hes going Florida it's not gonna work .. idk someone shoot me please cause these thoughts are running ramped