so new semester new stuff. international foods is dandy, health seems pretty cool. i made a new friend. i ate an omg-delicious hershey's bar [i owe gabriella $1.] i made an appointment to see my eye doctor to get me some glasses [fucking finally. jesus.] i get to start my grades over, life is almost swell. i dont like saying 'fuck' it makes me feel stupid, and i dont like feeling stupid. because like, i am insecure and stuff. i wish there was a pill to make your insecurity go away. everytime i go up in front of a class, i feel like theres something wrong with me. like theres a sign taped onto my back or i sat in something. today in health there was this kid who went up to the front of the room. he had a bandaid on the back of his tshirt. 'should i tell him? no. it would seem weird. you dont even know him. the class is quiet. people will think you are obnoxious. besides, what if he already knows its there and he wants to keep it there? i dont know why he would, but what if?' i dont like thinking too much about things. in class today, we had to write an event where we realized something important. but first we put our heads down and thought about it. because Mrs. Bowling Pin made us. i thought about the time i went to see my grandfather in the hospital. i remembered it so crystal clear. it was like reliving it all over again, which i didnt want to. my face started getting hot, and i felt my eyes stinging. i wish they didnt. i like books. i never realized how much i do. its nice. its nice to know that i can read something and not say 'omfg. books are the most stupidest shit ever. i hate them. i never ever want to read them.' i love books. they take me to paradise. well actually if they are sad and depressing, it makes me realize how awesomely nice my life is. wow i am being weird. i miss drumline. i hate not playing. it makes me feel boring and empty. i have not yet learned new things, and i wish i could. but Idonarose and Arthur are busy. they are like, adults. the coolest ones. but still they have jobs and relationships and life to deal with, and adding in a few more people would be too much. oh well. i think that i am a lazy hippo but i like hippos but i dont. because they are rather large and they kill things because they trample and arent smart enough to look where they are going. too bad, so sad.