friday niiight. supposed to get ready for a kickass dance biggest one of the year, all four high schools @ seaside. supposed to get ready for his kickass concert cause i missed his other one, and i havent been to one before. basically my mother is not letting me do anything. 'you are not old enough' -_- then why do they allow ALL high schoolers to go? i need a friendfriend who is like me. who doesnt go out and partyparty where its at cause their parents wont let them. orrr like i could use a guy.. to be friends with. and hang out and be cool and play videogames with or rather. i think id enjoy that way too much i want to go on an adventure. with a guy. so i can share my mind with him. all the girls already know how i roll, but guys dont. theyre just like 'oh. hi nicole. i see you like the color red' and thats really all. thats all they think there is to nicole but im not saying theres much. sure i like the color red. but i also like the shade maroon and i like the sky when its cerulean and i like to look out the window when its raining and i like to smell flowers when my nose isnt stuffed. and more. my stomach feels all acidic, too much orange juice. i want to go throw it up so itll go away i hate this feeling. but i dont want to be bulimic. like nicole richie. that woman needs help. i have a feeling everyone is moving on except for me. it feels... not good. and im not sure i like the same friends anymore and i hate that because we've been friends forever and stuff. its because i cant hang out n shitt but, have people moved on from me? are some people tired of me? i wonder who hates me. alyssa probably does, and that mexican good-for-nothing-whore justine. and probably lion girl as well. ew. gosh it makes me a little nauseaus just thinking about her face. mean, yes? she started it. home alooooone. lame. stupid. im a loser, i should just walk right out the door. where would i go, though? seaside is obviously too far to walk away. i dont know how to get to the sweatshop. every single one of my friends are out well. the ones i have here. friday night has never sucked this bad. ... friday night... actually yes. it has. but i dont care about that yes. tonight is a bitch in the ass [dirty sanchez, brah!]