so for now i'll sit in the back of the shadows raising toasts to the conquests of others and the chances of mine that ran out of time that were then handed down to my brothers Life as a martyr isn't nearly as bad as my need for love to be fleeting and few It's isnt by choice or a will to repeat it it's just slowly becoming that thing that I do but I needed to go where there's more they can offer I needed a break from the strain of the world so my ticket is bought and i'm ready to jetset and i'll see if theres more than my love for a girl and the risk that I took wasnt worth all the trouble but I needed to take it if only for me and now once again the safety is fleeting for a new band of players are charging the scene i'm trying to make this a poem but I cant rhyme it very well. . Try as I might, i'm not meant to be happy with what(read 'who') i've found just yet but others are. I get it. I can take the hint. I'll never be happy about it but i'll stop trying to expect more to come from the situations I often find myself in that, in a perfect world or a normal life might lead to something but for me lead only to a word document.