to be continued and edited

Feeling: pessimistic
Her feet on the dashboard and her eyes careening through the ever changing horizon. Her stare is not really focusing on anything for she's seen this scenery hundreds time. Her face is emotionless and the car is racing through the city lanes, stopping at the red lights and slowing down at the yellow like it always did. The only thing that ever changed on those many trips home was her thinking. Each trip came with something new that pertrubed her mind. Today, a hurricane of words and ideas flew around her mind making her go craaazy! This time her heart was involved, not for love but simply her pride which had been shattered earlier today... Everything she did to reject what her friend had said about who she was or what she was trying to be. She wanted to cry...but kept everything inside and her face remained emotionless. Her mouth is shut and her ears picked up the faint sounds of the FM radio. She had heard this song a thousand times and it did nothing to her, no meaning at all. She was in a deep state of deep thinking. The driver knew nothing from looking at her and kept focus on the road, trying to avoid hitting anything and enjoying the music. She tried to assure herself that her friend didnt mean anything mean by what she said, it was just a playful comment, right?!
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ma langue maternelle est le grec, puis apres j'ai apris a parler l'anglais. J'habite a Quebec, alors je devais apprendre la langue francaise a l'ecole, mais manitenant je ne pratique pas assez et je frequente un ecole anglais.

ou voulez-vous demenager?
You are scared of the bad things you can do?! If these bad things are things done to others then scared I agree with, but if these bad things you are scared of are things done un to you, then the word you should be looking for is hopeful. Hopeful that you can always change. And the comment your friend said to you that didn't make you feel all too well; Like I wrote in an entry once..
"unless you've given them real reason to make that comment, then in your heart and mind, bare no thought to their comment. People may like to bring you down whether intentionally or not. They believe they may know you and out of such belief judge you with a thought, but forgive them for they lead a misled life. Laugh at the thought which deems you to be wrong. Have pity on those who believe so". Keep Cheerful :-)
Merci! : ) j'adore le montreal! presentement, j'habite dans une petite ville 30 minutes dehors Montreal. Elle s'appele Deux-Montagnes. Mais je prend le train de banlieu chaque journee pour aller a l'ecole dans l' centre-ville. Je frequente l'ecole Dawson. c'est un cegep anglais. Quelle ecole voulez-vous aller? UQAM? Je suis contente, maintenant j'ai une amie avec qui je peux practiquer mon francais sur l'internet! hah.
So what you're saying is that, while you are the one hurt and in need of help, you will put aside your hurt so to help others in need of help while all along, you continue to plod along in life with a broken heart for whatever reason that may be. Is that right?

And then the help you have given while still being hurt yourself drives you to only feel even more pain / hurt?? I just want to make sure I understand what you say.

And either way, no, you're not a wimp.. don't ever think you are! Life can be hard at times!

I understand what you say about maybe the words in your friends comment actually being true of you.

I have a friend.. my best friend actually.. he called be deluded. Said I was the same as everyone else.. lol.. said I believed myself to be some sort of enigma and higher being as I would not admit to the fault of being socially inept!! lol
The point is.. I kept telling him.. I don't have a problem with what people think of me.. because unless I've ever given them real reason to believe something bad about me.. then whatever they think about me is 'nothing' to me. Their problem, not mine.

It's natural we question ourselves.. "yeah, maybe I am deluded. Maybe I have so much pride I can't see beyond the mistakes I make.. can't see the obvious". Truth is.. if you're making a mistake
then you will know / feel / see the mistake you're making. But if you aren't seeing it, you're not blind, that person's opinion is to their own.. has no meaning on who you are. Maybe that opinion is something the other person is scared about with themselves.. the problem will have nothing to do with you.

Hope that all makes sense. If that comment is true.. you'll know it.. if not.. it will mean nothing to you. Just believe in yourself!
Keep Cheerful!! :-)