Prom happened. prom was fun, good, and not as awkward as I thought it would be. The whole idea of going with someone I didn't know really freaked me out, but it was actually more fun than I thought it would be. You know how I'm not a whore? I've never been comfortable with the whole grinding thing. It's so stupid, and really the strangest form of dancing ever. Also, I have some self respect...whoo? Well, we got into the building and he kept saying things like "I'm really bad at dancing", "I suck at dancing", etc. I told him I did too, and that I've always found grinding pretty ridiculous, and I believe my exact words were "I'm more conservative a person." ...his exact words were "that's a good thing!" So I'm pretty glad that wasn't a problem. It was so weird, the whole awkward factor was worrying me for a while before this, but the night before, it basically hit me: Holy shit, I'm going to dance with this guy I've never met. But it wasn't an issue. He wore a white tux. Which was pretty cool. Nic Roberts wore a white tux as well, but other than that, there were all black tuxes...and my dress was, well, different. I got it from a store called "angry, young, and poor" if that gives you an idea right there. So I guess I stood out to a certain extent. Normal will never be the new fabulous. Jeremy forgot my corsage. I thought I might have cared, but I didn't. It was a combination of a lot of things, I'm sure. I was tired as shit for one, I had just worked 8-4 on my feet, The AC broke at work, I was sure this was going to be the most awkward night of my life, Gaby was going to dinner with us, I basically hated my hair [I had no time to do it for a lot of reasons], My dress didn't fit [too big. lameee], et cetera. I was not feeling so great to be honest, and it got to the point where I really really really didn't want to go. Amy even visited me at work that day, and she asked me with "excited about prom?", and I just said "Amy, I really don't want to go. I'm tired. I just want to sit." So when all this actually got underway and Jeremy forgot my corsage, I couldn't care less. I was emotionally exausted, this whole situation was such a joke anyway. I felt really bad for him being thrown into this crazystrange situation; the flower didn't fucking matter. He really stressed about it though. Then his dad drove the stupid flower all the way out from Franklinton to the restaurant.... which I kinda felt bad about. The flower really was quite pretty though; I got more compliments on that than on my dress. I decided I needed at least one photo of it. Unfortunately I didn't think of that til a bit after it died; so here we go: I raised the contrast quite a bit becuase this was a very unfortunate photo of me. I always seem to look unfortunate in pictures, they're not my favorite. You can't really see the corsage that well, but it's dying in that picture anyway. I do however quite like the way that my hands look wrapped around the camera in this shot, and the color of my fingernails almost links the eye to the corsage. In conclusion, I actually had fun. I'm actually glad I went. Gaby was lame. She still refuses to believe that she did anything wrong in this situation. This puts me in an awkward place. She still complains about prom as if she were the victim. It' so hard--she's probably my best friend; but she's driving me insane as of late. I don't agree with what she did, but I'm trying to be the supportive best friend as well. She's mad becuase of what Matt said to her after all this, she's complaining becuase he sighs so much on the phone, and she's saying that he expected too much from her. What I'm trying to make her see is that if the situation were reversed, she'd probably feel hurt, humiliated, and alone. What I'm saying, trying to be her friend is, "I honestly don't think either of you acted very well." but all she's saying "okay, I never should have said yes in the first place." That's true; she never should have said yes. But that's not all of it. It's easy, say no if you want. But then honor what you say. Once she said yes, she should have fucking stuck it out. I feel like I hardly know who my friends are anymore. The ones that I spend so much time with--Gaby, Melisa, Stacy, etc--are now ones I avoid. I don't feel bad about it either. I'm going to try to be friends with those who matter and whom I can stay in the same room with for more than 20 minutes without wanting to leave. I've been hanging out with Anna and Emma and Henry and Alex and Sabu a lot lately. I would rather have had my little prom-group with them to be honest, although my G&M&S would hate to hear that. They don't have a lot of friends outside of our group, I do. Too bad Emma got grounded and Anna and them are all "nonconformistantiprom." wow, I got sidetracked. Back to prom: photo: In other news, I've got to improve my language....I read through this and thought I was a sailor...