so she still hasnt given me my money. i need it. m y dad needs it. i have bills to pay tomorrow and dads asking me for money and i just cant do it. he blew the transmission out in his car and needs help with tuition. i have 3 papers and 3 midterms this week. i work everyday until thursday. i have no time to do anything right now. im just really really depressed right now, because i feel like no matter what i do, i end up losing friends. i miss her, i do...but i dont know why shes doing what she is to her life. she needs to go back to school and get her life in line. he goes to school... i hear shes moving down there during the summer. wow...this is all bothering me a lot more than i thought it would. i just feel so damn lonely right now. im sitting here crying being an emotional basket case. everythings happening so fast. i just want to go back to the beginning of the summer and forget everything. if i had never met tony, then i would never have lost my best friend. not that i regret meeting him. not at all. im just frustrated and thinking as i type. shes turned into such a heartless person. he is her only friend as of now. ive heard this from many people. im not the only person who has noticed this. i miss her, but then again i dont. i miss hanging out the way we used to, with our gum drop go, i miss the old times when we'd cry to eachother and go shopping. i dont miss the person she is now. life sucks. why do people have to lose their best friends? its worse thn breaking up with a boyfriend. everytime i think about it, it feels like someone is repeatedly taking an ice pick to my heart and gut. i wish things would go back to the way they were. i really have no life. i sit at home or over at my grandmas with my mom on the weekends...i work 35 hours a week, go to school 20, and im getting a second job. im turning into a fucking hermit. am i being a whiny bitch? do i care? why do people abandon each other? why cant i keep friends? whats wrong with me? does anyone even read this shit anymore?