it's not wednesday, it's definately tuesday. i wrote wednesday first. sillysilly :) i don't really remember what sparked me to write my last entry because i'm amazed by him. he has done little things that make me love him a hundred times more this summer. they make my heart skip ten beats every time i think about how many times he has pulled me close to him, and the romantic date he set up for us. he gets cranky sometimes, and i get emotional and bitchy but we learn to deal with it. i love him to death and always will. i realized today that i have four days to get ready for school; sunday morning i move in. i haven't thought about it much obviously, and it's honeslty purposely. i don't know what to expect when i go there and i don't want to be scared. so i figure if i think about it i'll become more nervous but if i don't think about it than i won't worry. if i'm nervous about meeting people it will be harder for me to act myself, so i'm going in there pretending i've known these people my entire life. so i'm hoping that i will benefit and hopefully meet a few good people, i don't need many. i am excited about my classes because i honestly can't wait to truly start my life. i don't know where i'll be in five years, with what career, so i'm ready to have an idea. i won't allow myself to get distracted by silly things while i'm there, and i'm going to study until my brain hurts. i need an educational confidence before i go out into the real world and test my everything. my mind and heart are both set on a stable, good income, enjoyable career. and i won't let anything stop me, this is my only chance to make my life happen. i'm excited for the newness of this all, and hopefully my positivity won't be diminished. i guess it will just be weird not seeing my usual friends though, the few there are. fucking hiccups. also, it's quite possible i have poison ivy from the other night's outing. i almost scratched myself to death. so i'm crying; not because i'm sad but because i'm happy. i don't think i could explain everything in words. just what he did for me this summer has made me so sure of things and the happiest i have been. i feel like this quote from life of pi kind of explains it pretty well, and it's come to be one of my favorite quotes: "It wasn't sleep, but a state of semi-consciousness in which daydreams and reality were nearly indistinguishable."