smudged dirt on my page five dollars to my name I'm shackled and bound I'm in a numb rage boxed into my 4x4 cage this room of blue paint and ideas twice my age well i have survived so far. this new flat is intense. me and Sam are getting on fine. but our new flat mate Clare who i knew from the halls two years ago doesn't seem to mesh well with us. she is argumentative and doesn't seem to be co-operative. however i am not angry with her, or sick of her. i just want her to see our point of view. we're not here to score points against each other, we're here to live together peacefully. doesn't she understand that? doesn't she know think about what she says and how it makes us feel. i don't know whether to say anything. anyway uni is going along. i'm a little unorganised at the moment, but i'm getting it sorted progressively. me and sam built a compost bin the other day. it smells sweet... but sickly at the same time. i think it reminds me of diarrhea. ummm. i have a great urge to go running and walking in the hills but i cant and its frustrating and fills my dreams. i watched the anon. vs scientology things on the internet. im not sure what my opinion is. i probably dont know enough. I wonder do you hate me for leaving you in the dark and i wonder if you can hate me yeah i wonder if you could rate me without making a snide remark i hope you can berate me with a biting spiteful taunt i hope that you take me in your memories to the grave so that then i may haunt you and you can be my slave and together we will die over and over again the feeling of misery and pain over and over again so i hope that remorse is near that you express regret because the death train is here this is where it stops its the point of no return dear last place for you to get off or you'll be riding through hell over and over and over again listening to the devils knell Or may we save each other from eternity in a wretched state to fight our way through limbo to brother peters pearly gate