Got back from my dads house an hour or two ago. It was okay, pretty good really. I miss everyone there so much already. Josh and Aaron most of all, I miss having someone to talk to. Yah. Opened my home schooling stuff. Jesus, I'm so lonely. Josh asked me if I get lonely, from only having one friend (he says he has none) and I said yeah. But I think then I'd forgotten what lonelyness was. It hurts like hell. I don't want to turn 15 and still be this lonely, still be this depressed. I was thinking on Saturday that maybe I should just somehow kill myself next friday night, before my 15th birthday. I don't know, my opinion on that seems to change with my mood swings. My dad wrote me a beautiful letter that makes me cry every time I read it and I scanned it just because It's very likely I'll lose it by mistake. First page Second page Not sure if it's readable but hey.