I've been feeling a little depleted lately. I wish I weren't so lonely, and more importantly, so socially inept. I wish I could make people laugh or cry just by pulling a string of words out my pockets. But I can't. And that's why I'll never have anyone to write about. If I had, I assure you I would write about them all day so that they were no longer a person but a perfect sentence on a perfect piece of paper. I would never take them for granted because I'd know how precious it is to finally have someone to give a damn about. I am tired of being apathetic. Maybe if I had someone to care about I'd just be depressed that they didn't care back, because I know they never will. I wish I were talented. This cd is making me sad. I have piles of homework but I can't make myself do it, what's the point? I'm a fucking moron anyway, I'll never succeed in anything. If there is a future I do not see it. I cannot force myself to think past 20 because I won't be able to handle being alone much longer than that. It is hard to imagine anyone in my siuation, but worse. I am ugly, stupid, AND I have no social skills. What could possibly be worse? On another note, I am insanely pissed off at people who say they're ugly when they are so obviously not. FUCKING HELL, it is not as if depression and uglyness are things to be longed after. I should probably write about what I did today, or something to that effect. That is, after all, what you write in these things, is it not? I didn't do anything today, though. And I probably won't tomorrow, at least nothing important, nothing life changing. A quick hike up the mountain but there's nothing at the top and I go home again. Down the fucking hill.