Saturday

22 January 2011

9:18 AM

I can't not begin to explain the emotions that I am feeling at the moment. Yesterday was a day that I will never forget. I met him, yes...him. The guy that I've been corresponding with every day since September 11, 2010.

I found myself feeling quite desperate for male companionship. & I needed someone to confide in, even if it were only a long distance friendship. So one day, I decided to create multiple profiles on several matrimonial websites.

* An exerpt from my profile :

"..I would say that I'm a pretty friendly, understanding, passionate, and open-minded person. I'd also say that I'm a good listener, very sincere, and most of all unique. I just graduated from high school & I plan on attending a community col. soon. More about me: I enjoy cooking & baking, but I wouldn't say that I am good at it yet. I love animals & I hope to have a career caring for them in the future. I like to read (drama & science fiction, poetry & magazines), and I'm a pretty healthy person overall. What I dislike in a person: close-mindedness, insensitivity, irresponsibility impatience, dishonesty, and arrogance. I believe that in order to maintain a successful marriage both individuals must be respectful & supportive of one another, and have a sense of humor as well."

Hah, I was searching for a friendly relationship on a marriage matrimonial website. Silly, I'm sure, but I wasn't completely certain that marriage was the right move for me to make at such a youthful age, 17.

Anyway, two days after creating my account, I began browsing through other profiles. I had certain requirements of the guy that I corresponded with. It was necessarry that he be male, of course, over the age of 20 years, never married & single, ethnicity did not matter, nor location or nationality.

As I was searching through the profile listings, I noticed that many of the potential candidates wrote few sentences, if any, in the 'about me' section on their profiles. So I decided to only initiate contact with those who took time & effort to complete at least a paragraph or so about themselves. Also, it was manditory that the person had a profile picture. I have to admit, none of the guys on this website were physicially appealing to me, except a select few. Then I spotted a certain profile that matched every requirement. He was 23, 6'0, single, never married, & had no children. He wrote a decent description of the qualities we was searching for in a partner & after reading, I suddenly realized he & I had a lot in common. In his contact details, he listed his cellular phone number.

I contemplated a little about whether or not I should text or call him the following day. Finally, I said 'fuck it, do it, screw it' and texted him. Ever since that day, we have remained in contact with one another. I felt so comfortable letting him into my world. He told me outrageous things about him that I could hardly believe, but for some reason i refused to let allow myself to judge him. So I often told myself that we would only remain friends. It was really nice having someone to text all day & everyday, and every day I learned something new about him. His life stories were so intriguing, and I was very attentive when to every single detail.

Honestly, I loathed going into detail about my life, as it was the complete opposite of his own & in my own opinion, extremely boring. The goal was to keep the focus on him, so that I could learn more about his character. I discovered that he was quite a well-spoken, learned gentleman, compassionate, with a high ego and moderately high self-esteem, but his generosity & kindness made up for that. It wasn't long before I realized that I was developing a sort of attatchment to him. When ever he didn't text back, I'd almost lose my mind thinking of what could have happened or what was he thinking. Some days I didn't feel like corresponding with him, but I could not go a single day without texting him at least once.