I've actually been doing well and enjoying my job at Walmart and running the gypsies. I was looking forward to if I wasn't able to make it to see one of my ex's I'd be able to see him over the summer. Guess I was wrong.
Apparently just having 2 days off in a row and blowing off fair for a week doesn't matter. I have to have an actual weekend off to be able to see him, then when he called earlier he hung up on me, the phone he was using didn't break up or anything, he just hung up without saying goodbye. Well damn it all to hell it's almost not worth it anymore at all. I never get to talk to him and when I do it's only for a couple rushed minutes and that's not enough to make up for the weeks without a word. He never emails, then wonders why I've stopped emailing. I'm sick of it. I love him to death and don't want to lose him, but I can't take much more.
Absence does not make the heart grow fonder. Though neither does continuous attention. I know you mean well and only call me so much because you think I don't mind, but you're wrong. You've never been more wrong. I know you miss me and I've said before that if you can't be with the person you miss then talking to them is the next best thing, but it's driving me crazy.
For awhile now I've been letting my past life and my future destiny rule my life, but I've decided that that's a bit insane. And we're all well aware of how crazy I can be.
It was so refreshing the other day to be able to spend it with a guy from fair just hanging out, watching movies, giving massages, not talking about renfest or my other self, barely talking about work, and just breathing again. I didn't realize how much my life had been entwined into other things until then.
I really don't know what to do with so many parts of my life that I've become attached to or wrapped up in, let alone what to do if I all the sudden wasn't anymore. I give up on making sense of any of it anymore. I've almost given up on dealing with any of it. I'm tired of dealing with all of it. I love you guys but goodnight and goodbye.
I've actually been doing well and enjoying my job at Walmart and running the gypsies. I was looking forward to if I wasn't able to make it to see one of my ex's I'd be able to see him over the summer. Guess I was wrong.
Apparently just having 2 days off in a row and blowing off fair for a week doesn't matter. I have to have an actual weekend off to be able to see him, then when he called earlier he hung up on me, the phone he was using didn't break up or anything, he just hung up without saying goodbye. Well damn it all to hell it's almost not worth it anymore at all. I never get to talk to him and when I do it's only for a couple rushed minutes and that's not enough to make up for the weeks without a word. He never emails, then wonders why I've stopped emailing. I'm sick of it. I love him to death and don't want to lose him, but I can't take much more.
Absence does not make the heart grow fonder. Though neither does continuous attention. I know you mean well and only call me so much because you think I don't mind, but you're wrong. You've never been more wrong. I know you miss me and I've said before that if you can't be with the person you miss then talking to them is the next best thing, but it's driving me crazy.
For awhile now I've been letting my past life and my future destiny rule my life, but I've decided that that's a bit insane. And we're all well aware of how crazy I can be.
It was so refreshing the other day to be able to spend it with a guy from fair just hanging out, watching movies, giving massages, not talking about renfest or my other self, barely talking about work, and just breathing again. I didn't realize how much my life had been entwined into other things until then.
I really don't know what to do with so many parts of my life that I've become attached to or wrapped up in, let alone what to do if I all the sudden wasn't anymore. I give up on making sense of any of it anymore. I've almost given up on dealing with any of it. I'm tired of dealing with all of it. I love you guys but goodnight and goodbye.Read 1 comments