Alright alright alright alright alright. Okay I got some pot. Smoking and token is the life for me, gren acres........ahhh bleh. Anyway I wrote like this huge long thingy in my note book cause I didn't have access to a computer I guess I'll type it now.... I started thinking about everything going on in my life, or more specifically my current situations. I can HONESTLY say that recently I met myself. I know exactly what I want from this life and how to get it. Problem is now that I met myself and know all of this, I know I am in the wrong place in my life. 21, married to a person who i love, but he is the complete opposite of me. He is a disabler, tottally incapable of intellegent conversation, not artistic at all or cabable of being so.. He is diffenatly an introvert. He swears he knows who he is but damn! Where is he going with it? FUSTERATED......... HOw do I work this out? DO I go along with this for the rest of my life, being as I'm not one to change a person in any way. I strongly believe that individual freedoms are an important aspect to a persons life. Well anyway,,,,,next up.... My best friend. I miss her ya know That one person away from persons who I could confide in. An intellectual equal, with a head full of useless, yet handy information. A true goth, with a hidden ray of inner light. A person with a undying passion for love and all it's dynamics. A remarcible person with a presence of someone who is a star, a person of true fame. My best friend. Man. I'm so happy for her. She's in love, the "New Kind". The kind that just rocks your world. And I feel so selfish for missing her, but I can't help it I'm just so damn lonely. Damn Lonely. My brother, my brother. I love him. My brother. He's moved to far from my "grasp". Why am I lettiny myself become so distanced? Is this my fault? Everyone is growing up and away. Am I doing just the same? I've become a vampire, sleeping all day, up all night. Smothered by loneliness. Drowning in depression. And it bothers me to the core. When did I become so devoid of socializing? People speak to me and I freeze. I don't make any sense when I talk. Unless I'm writing, I cannot communicate. I feel like I am just odd. I just wanna be me. And I DON'T WANNA BE LONELY ANYMORE. Damn it...help I'll die being lonely just one more second. ...................HIDDEN CHILD................
you are not lonely, you have all those people you just mentioned. call them up and you will see that you're not that lonely.
take care chica.
You are the sweetest and most rockin' person I know. It's almost scary how you understand my situation and that you accept it for what it is. I know you're going through rough times and I'm not gonna say what you know I want to say but... I'm always here for you. It's just very hard to get to you now. Mom is worried about you. Sorry, I got upset when I read this and had to share. See my diary for more...
Love always,
Meg
Suggest your life positively..;)
Be well,
Frank
we all go through "periods," and i'm sure with time it'll all make more sense. more sense than i do anyway.
rock on dear