So a quick update.. I bought a house for myself in May for my 22nd brithday. I'm now dating a very wonderful girl that was my highschool crush :3 Things are going pretty good between her and I and I hope it stays like that. Something about this one is different she makes me fell ways that I havent been able to feel in years. She gave me that spark back :) My first thanksgiving this year at my house wont include her as she needs to go see her relatives as I dont think she was able to last year. I wish I had more time to update this guy, but between work friends and the task of keeping a house up takes all of my time.. Here is a recent picture of me internet people that might stumble across this wonderfull thing called my blog. My purple room is awesome :D

What is wrong with me. I've got the best girl, the best job, I should be happy right now.. No? wtf why CAN I NEVER BE HAPPY I miss being 13 no girls no cars no only worry was to get out of bed and go to school, and hang out with friends play PS1 Now 21 I have to wake up M-F go to work do a good job so i keep the job so i can pay rent to have a place to live and to pay for the car that i never drive. :( She makes me happy. Sarah can only do so much btw 328 pounds in December of 2008 September 2009 252 pounds and still going down. Feels good man.

Sometimes I just want to die. This is one of those times. I feel so alone.

I don't know anymore.. I have the job I have the money. But of course I am still in debt.. I should be happy right? I feel like something is missing I just don’t know what, or who. I have my friends even when I am with them I feel lonely, empty. I want a girlfriend but if I get one I will never have time for her and don’t want a girl to fall for me and never see me I can’t do that again. I just wish I knew what my sub conscious is craving.. I’m tired of being depressed, well it feels like I am depressed, Ah.. confusion. Heh it’s always found a way into my life with many aspects of it. I am just going to stop typing now and try to drift into a spacy haze at work

I don't want this site to die

Well... I've been doing good at my store.. I should be getting promoted soon... to a field tech.. 34-51k a year does not sound bad to me.. I will miss this store and all the freedom that I have here. like watching movies and playing the Pokemons :)but I will finally be able to use my full skills!!. I miss this web site it used to be so big.. before Myspace before Facebook and all of that other shit.. but this place will always be a home to me..

vm,

so I talked to Melissa first time in 6-7 months it was pretty cool. we cough up.. it felt good talking to her. and i learned something about her tonight Dont call her kid She gets mad :)

well not much has changed I'm now a Geeksquad Auto Tech at Best Buy.. so glad i got away from computers... it was just the same shit every day it was making me start to hate computers... and hate my job. Other then that the love life is at a halt.. after that 3 month thing with the girl from work I broke it off cause I felt bad never having time to spend with her so.. ya.. a month later she left for philly to goto school.. But my social scene same stuff Chris Mike and Kyle, friends to the end it would seem. btw I am going to see Metallica Jan, 17, 2009 mofokos ye yeeeee :) this will be my second time =D but yeah I'm BEAT... work tomorrow 7-7 wtf...

...........new years is over fucking rated... ok melissa came over yesterday at uhh 4PM we did stuff.. I love just lying in bed with her doing nothing its werid I know ok stfu up I just like being with her... just her being there is awesome... well she got high for the first time yesterday.... sorry lisha..... Ive broken her for the rest of her life.... im sorry for myself.... I though it would be fun geting high with her but it wasent well I felt good I got fucked up on uhhh I think like 17 hits melissa had like 15 ha first time fuck up is the best.... haha I love her but not when she acts like that the only thing that I dident mind with her acting like that is that i knew melissa was still in there somewere.... I love that melissa... im never geting high again i threw it out *My Bowl* *The Weed* *The Past* To start the new i will never do it again now if i get an interview for a job ILL FAIL THE FUCKING DRUG TEST

ok ok ok i know i need to update more. so STFU ok ok well today at 2:10 PM i set ANOTHER toster oven on fire.... yeah ive got the gift of burning thoes things down i guess so i put the fire out with the cats be bad no more squirt(sp?) bottle... yea went out safe to live another day.... well back to teh reason i wanted to update yester day i was with melissa from 12-9 pm i loved it it was are happyest non justin anger day in a long time! im kinda happy with myself for not get explosive anger YAY! so i got this thing i love from melissa she made a drew me something i lov it sooo much it makes all my gifts i gave her SEEM LIKE CRAP the poem she wrote brought a tear to my eye it made me so happy then she made a macaroni(SP??!!!!!) neckless I LOVE IT i was going to were it but melissa dident want me to break it.... tear tear and this awesome neckless with this awesome charm i love it all and this awesome 3 headed dragon im making a small shelf for it on the wall of melissa memories :) but for now its on top of my tv with double sided tape :) :) :) :) then her mom got me adidas coloughen( WOW WAY OFF SP?) AND THE STUFFED ANIMAL MY SECOND FAVORITE ok well i love kissing melissa i havent kissed her like i did last night in like forever i miss her well ima gona go miss melissa... :( I LOVE YOU MELISSA!

okay... Its Mel....you know his gf .....yesss dumbass's...im reading all the private entries....dumb fucks....hmmm some about alot of people...hatered...wow.....hmmm blood...hmmm wow ya...i like all of them... okay then lol......well lisha left me : ( ....justin's here now : ) ....happy happy happy....seeeeeeeeexxxxxxxx mmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm goood lol ....gottah love him : ) i know i do ...blah we have school tomorrow.... I hate all you seeing-your-boyfriends-every-day-thing.Starting to piss me off jussssss alil........bitches. Ya...i hate school....ALOT.mr.z has fake hair....and mr.stubb makes fun of fat kids.....hahahahhahahahah! not... suck my invisable cock bitches.. later fuckholes

FUCK BEING BIPOLER FUCK ALL THE PILLS I TAKE EVERY DAY THAT DO NOTHING FUCK ALL THIS ANGER. This anger fucks up everything in my life, Jobs, Friendships, Relationships, Personal Property everytime I get angry I punch shit breaking things destroying my room my car most of all myself. I gave my self every issue dealing with my arm by punching shit. oh well im probably going to get fired from my job because i cant keep my anger to myself. hah oh well im useless anyway.

my blackberry melted lol yay im gonna get this one fixed and sell it get a better phone =/ FTW I'm high btw yay lol sleep.

Your movie theater made my lungs want to cave in. Your cigarette prices made me want to rip out my intestines. Or vice versa, whatever you prefer. I love doing my best to help someone who is bleeding horrendously from his mouth, nose and eyes. In return I get handcuffed guns drawn on me and thrown out of the motel I was staying out. I love doing something nice and getting treated like a fucking criminal. me and chris had a great time down in ocean city and now the cops know are names down there :) hmmm lets see... i got drunk drank a fifth of soco to myself, handled everything well passed out went woke up at 4am got Chris up we walked to 7-11 and on are way back to our room some bloody ass mofo comes up to us asking for help so ok i let him in my room so he can clean up... a minute later OCPD come knocking on my door..... yay hand cuffs and guns yay yay... lol it was so worth it tho =D hah but i wish i would of hung out with Carie but i did not want to be around a bunch oh drunk teenage girls... lol over all good weekend oh and driving home half drunk from oc at 5am yay :)

i love stick am give me something to do:) i cant wait until Friday I'm gonna hang out with Emily for a little bit after work :) :) :) i kinda like this girl a lot.. :)

i feel great fixed my car today and had my first interview at comcast :) i hope god is on my side for this one i need something like this to get me going again :)

ha i have been working 2-10 allmost everyday for the last three weeks but it not really bothering me that much i turn 19 soon and i dont know what im gonna do maybe go down to the beach for the weekend with a few friends i dont know.... lucky mee ive got a good connect and im gonna go shrooming saturday this should be fun chris has to baby sit me hahah then sunday im gonna work on my car fine tune the new audio a little bit more :) oh a car show for best buy employes in delaware is in june so i will have an excuse to insure the GTP and actualy put it on the road i have had it for 5 months now and have driven it 7 times.. premium gas sucks tho so i just keep it parked at my grandparents hosue err im boreeed work ends soon so :)im out gonna goto lunch with Emily

just got back from main street in Newark.. I was walking around with Rachel for a few hours went to flavors and some other tobacco product store looked at WAY over priced pieces haha i was gonna buy a bong untill i saw it was $400 200 would of been ok but nah fuck $400. i have to say the best part of the night is when some drunk tried to start a fight with a hipster THAT was FUCKING AMAZING i so would of been on the drunk guys side YA!! ah haven't had this much in a long time oh well I am probably going over her house again tomorrow do some move shits OMG i got lucio fulci's ZOMBIE today SO FUCKING AMAZING !! heh i had the zombi2 for all most 3 weeks and i have been waiting for zombie so now i can watch them FUCK YA oh and i also got house by the cemetery another GREAT movie i think it might be a boot leg tho... oh well

OMG IM FAT AND IM NOT AT WORK WHAT AM I GONNA DO NOW... FOOD