well im siting in my room like always because i cant have fun im not aloud to have fun... struken with internal sadness that seems to never go-away i miss melissa so much that i just want to die.... i want to fucking hang myself this is the first weekend i have been unable to see her and its fucking killing me...... im so fucking sad i just wish this feeling would go away but i know its not going to because im not aloud to be happy god that fucker just wants me to be sad so fuck him asshole.... he does no good in my life... well i guess he helped me find melissa so she says... i dont know it just feels like god doesent want me to be happy like im should just go die but ohwell i just melissa so much and i hope shes not feeling the same way i here her laugh so thats good im glad shes happy jellous but im glad fir her she needs to be happy more i love to see her smile it makes me feel good about myself knowing i made her smile thats about the onny thing that i do right... thats how sad and worthless i am i should just go die im nothing im empty i see no pont to live orther then looking foward to every time i get to see melissa and thats not that much... im gona go be depresed and sleep through the super bowl _____________________________________________ i hope tim lisha, melissa, kyle, lauren all had a happy and fucking fun fucking weekend becuase i sure dident ive been depresed in my basement on the brink of cutting myself i know melissa and lisha had a fun time must be nice to be able to smile and laugh if i dont see melissa tomorow i will cut myself I WILL so ima go fucking kill my unhappy self now i hate my life and everything about it i just want to fucking die i might go cut myself so ttyl?