I hate my new school. I fear all the crowded halls and the fact that in my painting class there are only three people and I'm a crap painter and they're all good. So I keep telling myself it doesn't matter, that its what I feel when I paint, but it doesn't go away. He stayed last night and it was nice. I needed him there for the comfort after my first day. I spent two hours in the school bathrooms crying. Despair is awful. I would have killed to have seen just -one- familiar face. But I saw none. Nobody. He picked me a flower but that was the extent of my valentines day. I bought shoes that I felt sorry for and now I have no money so I'm going to try and return them. just understand that i need you