so i am sitting in the dark in my dorm room trying not to wake my roommate. i should be napping - or studying for the big spanish test i have tonight which i was not able to really study for yesterday. after getting a few hours of sleep my mind is a little more clear today then it was yesterday - thanks to languagefreak and my own weird self hah. i know i deserve better and that one day i will have it. right now i am looking forward to going clubbing tonight with some friends, tomorrow is friday and my older sis is picking me up so that i can go home for the weekend (there's no place like home). i also get to see my friend Jason this weekend, maybe Joel and maybe Nate but who knows. hopefully i'll be able to get my new phone and i am definitely looking forward to my moms cooking. hah jason wants me to wear this awesome dress i got from hot topic that has chains and stuff... ive only worn it once with hooker boots. but i dunno.. jason is my best friend... but the convos we have are crazy. he's right though, our life paths always cross one anothers. atleast he got me to laugh some last night. i needed that. it sucked because i was trying to make a joke out of everything so i was crying and laughing to my roommates and the more they laughed the more i did so it was just weird... but i feel... just not myself... i mean im better today then i was yesterday and im sure ill feel even better tomorrow- its a combination of school, social life, stress and the whole guy thing ya know? and i hate winter - it is very depressing and it has already snowed here. but i guess i can only make the best of a bad situation. ill try to make it up in the next couple of entries.