me: i cant be in that kind of situation again me: so i am being a good girl me: friend: u be a good girl LOL thats a laugh in it's self me: i can be... as long as i dont get shitfaced me: havent had a drink since than friend: it's not because u got shitfaced me: oh... than what was it? friend: alot of things that was one reason but there was more to it than just that me: i would be interested in knowing the other friend: u already know them this was a conversation i just had with a friend and what i hate about it is that i dont understand why i have to drink so much when i go out to the point where i cant remember what happened. this night that we are referring to happened three weeks ago. i want to go out next thursday night because it would be the last time before exams and than going home for christmas break. i want to relax and drink and enjoy myself... and be happily buzzed while still remembering. grrr to the person who wants me totally blitzed - 2 drinks than dance, back for more... grrr to myself for possibly going in to it knowing i just might. so here is the thing. i think some things were said that one night and i dont know what it was that was said. but i think the alcohol had something to do with it though the person thinks im mean because what happened that night has no meaning for me and it was the alcohol - how can anything be meaningful if you cant rememeber it? thats not fair. is it just out of persuasion that these things are said? im not putting myself in to that fucking situation again... damn me! part of me just wants to go dance and have fun... the other part is a little apprehensive about the whole thing. got to see matt yesterday. it was nice, he got here around 130 and stayed until 1130. did some christmas shopping, ordered chinese food, hung out with my roomie, joked around and cuddled, it was nice. now back to doing my papers. this week may be insane!