so today it is pretty nice out. i cant wait for summer. there is a possibility matt and i will be going to arizona-we'll atleast go somewhere even if its just for a weekend. he and i are going to a small concert this weekend, possibly bowling with his cousin and some of his friends. id like to come back to scranton for the performance of "Carmen" so we'll see. my mind is a little boggled lately. i am going to assume that anth will invite sara to NC and thats fine... but than she'll be introduced to jasmine and... i dunno... if jasmine still misses me how can another girl be introduced its not my life. i now begin to wonder if i should have started contact again because i still feel involved where i have no right to be. but i guess i am passing judgment rather quickly because i dont know if that would actually happen... blah... im thinking too much it shouldnt matter to me anyways. i have my own life now. Matt and i are happy together and when i am not with him i miss him terribly. he has sacrificed so much for me. he is even considering getting a second job to help me out and i dont want him to because i am stubborn like that. this rollercoaster ride needs to end somewhere. im just in a rush to get life over with i guess... no im not talking suicide but i want my career and i want my family and my house and a husband who will love me unconditionally. oh well. i have to get to stats... more thoughts later.