ok... this week is flying by i suppose. it'sa good thing. you know... Anthony and I have been together since friday and nothing has changed but yet it seems nothing is the same. I dunno... like the same shit different day. I hope he doesnt take me for granted again. I'm supposed to see him when i go home but he doesnt seem too interested in seeing me a much... maybe its kinda like that thing "you want what you cant have and once you have it, its not as good as you thought." or maybe its the fact that Jason introduced me to his friend Matt. So i started talking to Matt two nights ago. both nights we spoke for 3 hours if not more. I found conversation with him came very easily and that we really have a lot in common. i dunno... i had to wonder - did Anthony and i ever talk so much? does he know as much about me as matt does personality wise? does he know who i really am other than a nice piece of ass? i dont know... Talking to matt has really made me think and i told him right off the bat that i just recently got back together with my ex - but ... why at this point? why could i not have gotten to know him a week before? he told me that no matter what i could always talk to him and i think thats really cool... should anything happen to anthony and i (knock on wood?) i kinda think maybe there might be something there with matt - but who knows. i need to keep telling myself that being in a relationship really isnt that important and maybe it shouldnt be... but i feel like because i have dated for so long and so many people that i know exactly what i want - which makes me picky and maybe he's just not out there... than again these convos with matt are insanely wonderful. the last time i had a really good convo with a guy was when i was with billy and that was almost three years ago (he and i dated for two and a half years) only... i have to say even though i havent had many convos with matt, they seem a lot more mature... grr its driving me nuts because... i dunno.... how do i get myself in to these situations?????? ah well... i am pretty happy right now, i made a new friend and break is almost here. Even though i didnt do too well on my last spanish exam (due to stress and really being quite sick) i dont feel too bad because i know i can bring it up still... no excuse - no slacking... cant wait for exams... i know that sounds weird but i guess once they are done that a lot off my mind - it also means that winter break will have arrived. Thanksgiving should be fun. I cant wait to see my whole family again and we pick our secret santas for xmas because there are way too many people in my family (but hey, the more the merrier) I also have to write three papers for my university class which will be a piece of cake because they arent very long papers. well im gonna go and make some phone calls... did some studying and ive been sitting up too long so... just need to relax. have a good night everyone