I totally feel like I'm not where I want to be in life. I hurt so bad, mentally and physically. My spirit is just crushed. Nothing goes right anymore. Getting high seems like more work than just staying sober but no one else in my life apparently feels the same. I wonder where he's at 'cause he said he didn't know where he was staying if I wasn't with him...but I can't be with him tonight. Not like this. Screaming fighting about inconsequential bullshit & I guess he's getting fucked up still. I'm so scared of my life sometimes.