new day. i just started finals. god. my tutor is REALLY starting to piss me off, now. SHE WONT LEAVE ME ALONE!!! w/e. so. i was looking at brett's profile on myspace. im not even angry. im actually kind of relieved. i dont know why. but i keep thinking that we'll get back together. like this is just another fight. except bigger. its weird. its like im caught between two feelings. i love him. but then i hate him for hurting me. and i think that what's happening now will just be a phase. ive seen it in a vision. ive seen that we will break up and not tlak for a few years and then we will meet up again. its crazy. ive got a gut feeling about it though. and i know that he's had visions of us being together when we were older. but his new gf seems nice. not that ive talked to her or anything. life's getting really complicated. and i swear to god. i think im bi-polar. watch, in an hour i will hate him for something gay. i guess i can admit taht i was one of those freak girlfriends. but that was only because i had a right to be. i guess i was too tight. im making it a goal to change all my bad habits this summer and become extremely poised. i want to get a new boyfriend. move on. although, i HAVE moved on. its a process that i go through everytime i break up with someone. or get over them. it just takes a while until they are out of my head. and if i get a rebound, that will just make things worse. i kind of lied to brett, though. i was angry and said that i have a new bf. ut i dont. lol. i dont want one either. i should start going out with girls. i should call brianna now that i think about it. brett seems to keep wanting to fight with me. but fighting just shows that we fight because we care. i dont want to care. and he should be focusing on his new gf. i hope that he doesnt hurt her like he hurt me. that would stink. but i dont think i should tell her about what he did. or else that will just ruin everything for them. im happy for him. honestly. and i feel so... free