**I wrote this to Brad an hour after he asked for me back, wanting to give me the second chance that I had wanted a month earlier; tho I knew in my heart that it'd never work..I figured to try it, just in case** "I dunno what to do Everything about you is wonderful I love the way I feel when we're together; secure, safe, loved. I don't understand why you purpously hurt me. Why do you always do that? Making fum of the things I do, the things I say. I thought you loved me; and love is special. Something ment to be forever. No matter what. I know I've hurt you, but I've begged for your forgivness & acceptance. I want you to forget about her. The bitch that you ALLOWED to hurt me. While you were sitting there laughing. The marks of your betrayal to such an extent will never wear away. Never. For the past month, or more, the only things I've wanted is to move away. You didn't want me, and refused to accept me. To love me. Instead; you used me, or so it seems. Something to simply scratch your itch. I can't take it anymore. I need to know how you feel; and why. I have to know why you do things, which are aimed to sing and maul. I love you beyond words, and miss you so dearly. I need you to love me again. **Now I can see the way of my mistake. The only reason you wanted me back was so that you wouldn't have to feel guilty for being an ass. Now I realize where and when the tricks began, and never again will I be the same. My heart has been severed into tiny peices and are bleeding on the floor. You stomp them into the ground. It was a mistake to start trusting you again and I hope you get AIDs from whatever slut you want. And I sincerely feel bad for whatever nice girl decides to like you, becuase she'll be hurt too. Girls and Ry... I'm sorry that I didn't listen to you, he did take the fact that I was dumb enuf to trust him again as a way to get sex. Ya'll knew it and as always I dissapointed you with my idiocy. *To myself* Becka. Your an idiot. You don't deserve to life. If you can't keep Erika here, then please by all means get rid of yourself. You should not have been born. You were a mistake, still are. Its no wonder your birth parents threw you away. They knew you'd amout to nothing... I hate you