Okay - well I might have possibly screwed something great up. Actually - wait. NO - I didn’t' screw anything up; things are actually going really well. Richie kissed me twice today. Which is REALLY good because I like him and all, but other then that I feel like shit. *Lemme try to put my thoughts together on this... I feel the way I did my freshman year when I met Brad, so I KNOW that I like Richie a lot, but I feel like shit because of Brad. *To go further: I've been interested in Richie since the beginning of the year. He's just so different from the guys that I know. AKA - he's innocent . Very carefree and upbeat, he plays sports; he's not opinionated and is very accepting of people while upholding his own standards. I've been SERIOUSLY interested in Richie for only two months or so now, and I told him that awhile ago. It didn’t' phase him at all, like I thought that it would. Things have been taking their natural course and today things happened for me. JOY Sadly, I'm unable to enjoy this newfound happiness because of Brad. It's not his FAULT per say - but it's because of old feelings that I had for him and the recent hope of things working out between us. Now that I've seen the true him, it's getting easier for me to move on and get over him. But I guess I'm simply not at that part yet. I finally feel comfortable without him, but I get a little bit sad when I see him and he doesn't say "hi". I still feel really jealous when I see him with another girl. I always will feel that way, I'm sure of that much. I also feel a little bit sorry for whatever girl goes out with him in the future, because I know that when they break up he will be as much of an ass to her as he was to me. He's a heartbreaker. I also know that whomever he keeps for life, in the long future, is the luckiest person alive, and that she had better be good enough for him or I'll kill her. But moving on --- speaking of which, I'm working on that. If Richie decides that he wants to take this further then that’s great and I'll be so happy, unlike I haven’t been for the past few months; if he doesn’t want to then that’s fine too and we'll continue to be friends. ********************************************************* Ellen - your a bitch. Sean is like... 2 years older then you too, so don't gimme that shit!