I was watching my T.V. one night when they broke in with a special report about some devestating earthquake in Peru. There were 30,000 crushed to death, even more were buried alive, and on the rictor scale it measured 8.2. I said, "God, please answer me one question... Why'd they have to interupt the Simpsons just for this? What a drag 'cause I was taping it and everything and now I'll have to wait for the re-run to see the part of the show I missed." Oh, why does this always happen? Why doese this always happen to me? I was driving down the Highway when all the traffic slowed to a crawl. There was a ten car pile up, everybody dead. And I saw brains and guts and vital organs splattered everywhere, including my friend Robert's disembodied head. And I thought, "Poor Rob I just had lunch with him. Hey wait a minute, he still owes me money what a jerk! Well there's five bucks that I'm never gonna see again and plus on top of everything else, it looks like I'm gonna be late for work!" Oh, why does this always happen? Why does this always happen to me? Well the other day my boss said that we were running low on toner, and he asked if i could buy another case. Well I told him I was busy, but he still just kept on asking, so I turned around and stabbed him in the face! Oh and, wouldn't you know it my knife got stuck! I guess that's probably bound to happen now and then! But, I'm affraid I may have bent the tip a little and now I know that blade will never ever be quite as sharp again. Not quite as sharp again! Oh tell me! Why does this always happen? Why does this always happen to me???