THE MOST UNEXPECTING THING HAPPENED i feel so fucking bad and guilty even if it wasn't my intention for this to happen. yesterday i hung out with my friend zac in anaheim and we ended up going to downtown disney and the block as well. he was showing me around because i've never been to those places believe it or not. everything was going chill and we were having a good time, doing stupid things and dancing. while he showed me the waterfall.... HE KISSED ME and not only once but twice..later on that same night he saw my reaction when i pulled away and he felt bad because he told me he can see the sadness in my eyes. i told him that "THIS IS BAD" and he apologized. how it got to that point? i dont fucknig know. but i rather lose a friendship that hasnt blossomed like others than things falling for jonathan and i. but that's not my choice to make anymore. it's all up to jonathan. i just hope he understands that I DIDNT WANT THAT TO HAPPEN THAT WAS NOT MY INTENTION & THAT I LOVE HIM god i'm so fucking stupid : /