last week i ended up going to LE DISKO with manny and the whole cockfest, one of them ended up grabbing my ass by the end of a song and i just jumped....just. for most of the night i ended up dancing with mannys cousin, better dancer than manny will ever be but oh well. manny ended up taking care of me that night, again cause i was too tipsy to walk by the end of the night. but when am i not? seems to be the only hours that i can smile (when not around the girls or jaime). leo reminded me that we have this thing, this "journal" of some sort although no one really pours out what they really wanna write since things of that manner would only be too private to discuss. i hope he makes it home safe & i'm on here trying to keep myself up to know he's ok. he's really something else, but everyone knows that. - i should probably go to church and try to save my soul because i sure have sinned more than i ever have. - & i shouldn't be listening to the song i'm singing & well of course listening to, too many memories. i really am considering turning my life in to become a nun. i rarely have anything inside of me anymore. for some reason i grasp onto some hope, some. i'm almost on empty, i think someone should fill me up.